cruella’s mom getting knocked off a fucking cliff by dalmatians has the same energy as that bit from mrs. doubtfire where robin williams says “it was the drink that killed [my husband]” and when sally field asks if he was an alcoholic robin williams replies, without missing a beat, “no he was hit by a guinness truck”
sometimes you say or do bad things while you’re in an awful mental place. sometimes you say things that are rude or uncalled for or manipulative. and i’m not going to hold that against you. mental illness is hard, and no one is perfect. but once you’re through that episode, you need to take steps to make amends. you need to apologize.
“i couldn’t help it, i was having a bad episode” is a justification, not an apology.
“i’m so fucking sorry, i fucked up, i don’t deserve to live, i should stop talking to anyone ever, i should die” is a second breakdown and a guilt trip. it is not an apology.
when you apologize, the focus should be on the person you hurt. “i’m sorry. i did something that was hurtful to you. even if i was having a rough time, you didn’t deserve to hear that,” is a better apology. if it was a small thing, you can leave it at that.
if you caused significant distress to the other person, this is a good time to talk about how you can minimize damage in the future. and again, even if it is tempting to say you should self-isolate and/or die, that is not a helpful suggestion. it will result in the person you’re talking to trying to talk you out of doing that, which makes your guilt the focus of the conversation instead of their hurt.
you deserve friendship, and you deserve support. but a supportive friend is not an emotional punching bag, and mental illness does not absolve you of responsibility for your actions. what you say during a mental breakdown doesn’t define you. how you deal with the aftermath though, says a lot.
This is the most carefully-nuanced discussion of this I think I have ever seen. Thank you for writing this.
It just doesn’t, for some reason, feel real. I don’t know. There’s a– something’s wrong. Like a dream, you know? But not an interesting one. More like the one where you’re folding laundry. Or eating. Everything seems normal, but somehow you know.
With 2020 now behind us and 2021 starting off like a bad hangover I
wanted to take a moment to look through some fun times from the past
year.
To start off here are my top 10 photos / digital art pieces from 2020, as chosen by you. ^^
I want to say a huge THANK YOU to Hanna Vander Woude, Rae, Lexi The First, Steven the Second, and Miles Landis for making these all possible.
I
cannot express how fortunate I feel to have quarantine companions
who support me, encouraged me to
be my best,
and who
tolerate my “artistic explosions” ( if you’ve ever lived
with a crafter / artist type you know the struggle). lol
They kept me sane during a very turbulent year. THANK YOU!❤️
